Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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