It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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