A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I need to sanitize my soul.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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