i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
