Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
