U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
