Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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