you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
