Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I just forgot I was standing up.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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