so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
