I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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