i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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