After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
My life is pants optional.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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