The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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