1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
