Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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