I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Randomize
