i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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