just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
