Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
