Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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