just come out here and I will go home with you...
this beer tastes like vomit already
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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