I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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