Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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