she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
