i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
