He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
So squirting runs in the family.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
