Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
third nipple confirmed
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
