Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
