They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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