I can tuck mytits in my pants
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
