i always forget guys have bellybuttons
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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