The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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