For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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