I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
high people should be assigned attendants
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
