after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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