if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
