At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
