it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
