Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
