I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
