we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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