your parents love me but you hate me
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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