please come you make the beer taste better
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Randomize
