the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
