try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Sorry about my life...
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
