Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
