I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
