so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
