Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
