dude i'm inner monologue high
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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