It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
