nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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