That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
