she was so not down for the gang bang
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Help. Why am I so naked?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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