I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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