Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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