I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize