Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
if only i could text you this smell
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I FOUND THE LEGS
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
