Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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