I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
