Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
