I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
