We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
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